I like you.

I'm not sure about you, but when I was growing up, I always wished I looked like someone else.  I wish my hair was dark, or my nails would grow long, or I had a figure. I wished I was smarter and stronger.  The list goes on, believe me.  I was never happy with me.  Sadly, I don't think I am the only girl who has grown up with those feelings.  For many years of my life, I felt like I wasn't good enough, but as time went by,  life happened and I grew up.  I learned to like myself.  I learned to be happy with freckles and flinstone toes and glasses.  It's part of me.

Then one day, earlier this year in fact, I was watching some old home movies.  As I was watching them, I found myself feeling very uncomfortable and wanting the movie to hurry and be over.  I starting asking myself what was going on.  Why was I feeling this way?  I realized that I still harbored some old feelings deep down about not being good enough. I had made mistakes, bad decisions and had many regrets.  Now this part sounds funny, but I litterally told myself, stop!  I like that person.  Stop hating her.  That 20 year old version of me is ok.  Sure my hair was permed and very big.  Yeah, I had pink eye shadow and wore high wasted pants.  But that was the style.  I had kids young and quit college.  I was still growing up.  I was immature and young and a mom and trying to figure out life.

That was one of those "ah ha" moments.  I stopped condemming the "old" me and all the mistakes I made. I stopped regretting things I had done and decided to embrace them as they are part of my story and what make me, me.  Yeah, I learned the hard way sometimes, but I am thankful for it.  ALL of it.

xoxo

Carol